...then you make a left turn at Albuquerque
Yeah, yeah, stop complaining, I'm writing a post... happy?
So with my job, I get to travel all over the western half of North Carolina attempting to locate new business. During my recent travel I have discovered that my home of Hickory is not the only place in this state where Forrest Gump designed the mapping of the city and county roads. Just the other day I was out of town trying to find an address in which I was unsuccessful and decided to give up looking. Common sense would tell most people that when the address is located at 5968 'whatever street', once you get to the 5000's, you're not too far. Well, it's kind of hard to find a friggin' address when the numbers jump like a damn grasshopper from 5000 to 4000, then back to 5000, and then amazingly enough, somehow down to 3000! And then of course there's always that jackass that's behind you when you're trying to find an address. I know you need to get up to 88mph to get back to the future asshole, but I'm busy here...
Examples of some places with messed up streets and addresses in North Carolina include Stony Point and Catawba. That's right, for all of you reading this that have never been to NC, this is what we call BFE. These little places, and I mean smaller than Mayberry... usually have two to three stoplights, if not only one. What makes them fun, (and I mean the word "fun" in a sarcastic way), is how a street like 1st Avenue South East can start on the East side of town and somehow magically appear again out of nowhere on the North West side of town. Like Scooby Doo would say... Huuuuh? But what can you expect when the idiot who probably first paved the streets was named Bubba and only had three teeth? "Ahh, we don need no stinkin' street names, we's always jus use bushes and rocks to find our way home." That's nice Bubba, but the same rock isn't going to re-appear 5 miles across town. So you big city people, the next time you're sitting in traffic cursing the taxi that almost drove over your bumper while changing lanes without signaling, remember this... at least you have streets that lead somewhere!
So with my job, I get to travel all over the western half of North Carolina attempting to locate new business. During my recent travel I have discovered that my home of Hickory is not the only place in this state where Forrest Gump designed the mapping of the city and county roads. Just the other day I was out of town trying to find an address in which I was unsuccessful and decided to give up looking. Common sense would tell most people that when the address is located at 5968 'whatever street', once you get to the 5000's, you're not too far. Well, it's kind of hard to find a friggin' address when the numbers jump like a damn grasshopper from 5000 to 4000, then back to 5000, and then amazingly enough, somehow down to 3000! And then of course there's always that jackass that's behind you when you're trying to find an address. I know you need to get up to 88mph to get back to the future asshole, but I'm busy here...
Examples of some places with messed up streets and addresses in North Carolina include Stony Point and Catawba. That's right, for all of you reading this that have never been to NC, this is what we call BFE. These little places, and I mean smaller than Mayberry... usually have two to three stoplights, if not only one. What makes them fun, (and I mean the word "fun" in a sarcastic way), is how a street like 1st Avenue South East can start on the East side of town and somehow magically appear again out of nowhere on the North West side of town. Like Scooby Doo would say... Huuuuh? But what can you expect when the idiot who probably first paved the streets was named Bubba and only had three teeth? "Ahh, we don need no stinkin' street names, we's always jus use bushes and rocks to find our way home." That's nice Bubba, but the same rock isn't going to re-appear 5 miles across town. So you big city people, the next time you're sitting in traffic cursing the taxi that almost drove over your bumper while changing lanes without signaling, remember this... at least you have streets that lead somewhere!
posted by j4unc @ 3:45 PM
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